sadness....

I've been told, time and time again... That absence makes the heart grow fonder. In many cases this is true. But does it ever get to a point where forced absence may cause one to grow more distant? More cold, towards the other? I understand the constraints of work, school, and other time consuming tasks causing people to be apart more often then they'd like... But at the same time; What if the two have no real major restraints? What if it seems like, both indaviduals have nothing but time to spare? I mean... Don't get me wrong. No two people should ever spend every waking moment together. One, or both of them would basicaly go insane. People do need time apart... but in most cases, people know how much of this they need. This should be their descision and nobody else's, Right?

This is what I thought, until just recently. I understand that when you live with your parents there are certian rules you have to respect, and certian things you have to do in order to humar them (in most cases anyway im rather lucky). But does this mean controlling every aspect of your life? I surely don't think so.

It's slowly but surely getting to the point for me, where even though I don't live under his parents' roof, that I'm as restrained as I would be, if I was living there all the time. I've been trying my best to deal with it, but as each day psses as of late, I'm getting closer and closer to my breaking point....

I love this person with all my heart. More perhaps, than I've loved anyone; more perhaps then I will ever love anyone. And in some ways, this feels like my downfall... Maybe if I didn't show that I loved him so much, things would be easier?

We've been together for a year as of Wednesday the 20th. Isn't it only natural to want to get closer to somebody within that amount of time? Isn't it only natural to only want to see them more often then a couple times a week? We were joking once.... that if I wanted to, I could have another guy on the side. And as bad as it sounds.... I agree with that statement. If I really wanted, with as little as we see eachother, I could have another man. But I don't want this... I want him. Please tell me... is this a crime?

It's like... I come closer and closer to just breaking down every time he tells me we have to see eachother less, or we talk to eachother too much... In some ways it feels as if we are being pushed away from eachother... I mean... if it's what he wants... he should just tell me and I will leave him alone... I'm growing weaker... fading,... back away more and more as the days go by...

So I've never really been the best at keeping up with these things. But I guess if I can get a good enough fallowing on here, perhaps I will start writing again....

So just a little bit about myself.. My name is Holly. I am a huge fan of computers, anime, and video games. For the most part I'm a loner, and don't really talk to that many people. I am merely on here as a way to get things off my chest, and to perhaps try and make a few new friends.

I have an awesome boyfriend right now named Ian. He and I will be together a year next Wednesday. He is so awesome, and makes me happier than anyone ever has. I am hoping to have a place with him and everything this time next year. Hopefully I will be posting on here around that time, and will let everyone know ^^